


to bouldly go...

by acricket



Category: Homestuck, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Crossover, Other, scifi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-26
Updated: 2012-02-26
Packaged: 2017-10-31 18:05:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/346919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acricket/pseuds/acricket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Roxy of the united star fleet Federation, who boldly goes where none have gone before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mostly drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	to bouldly go...

**Author's Note:**

> A one shot giftfic for my darling girlfriend, who likes both. I am sorry if I screwed up on the startreck side of it, just getting into the original series. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy.

**-Caiptains log-**

I am Roxy T Kirk, Catptain of the starship, Enterprise. The starate is 20469.   
*startdate  
*star

We have been following the path along the nwely discovred Newbnica solar system, as ordered.   
*Newblica   
Faaaar away from the front lines of the human-troll war, continuing on our path of finding new universes and aliens.

We are not as far from the troll contrleled sectors as thought.   
*Controlled

We have had a run-in with 4 troll ships, 3 chasing one. We fuckin destroyed those three, the last, is makin contact. We are in the middle of talks, against rules.

The main troll’s name is Kakat, and there are 3 other trolls on that ship.  
*Karcat  
*however you fuckin spell it. 

 

**-end log-**

-

 

**-Captains log-**

We are so going to get court martialed for this.   
*marshalled

 

**\- End log-  
**

 

Roxy squinted as she tapped the button to end the log. She wondered why she even bothered with the thing. Oh, for prosperities sake or whatever. It was too early for this shit. She had been in her room, enjoying the feeling of drinking herself silly, when all this happened.

Her attention was drawn back to the screen in front of her. A ragged looking troll was glaring at her, he looked thin, and slightly starved. There was a pair of stubby horns popping form the top of his head. They weren’t very big. Weren’t trolls supposed to have these fuckin’ amazing huge ass horns?

“Captain Roxy, do we have a deal or fucking not? I do not have a lot of options here. This already churns my bile sack, but I’m asking for fucking amnesty or what ever you have a human equivalent of.” His voice was hoarse, like he spent most of his life screaming, and he looked very agitated. The words jumbled together slightly, the computer having a hard time with how fast he was speaking. It was oddly cute. But he probably should be agitated, he was on a teeny, tiny ship, that was smoking. Smoking things were never a good sign.

Dirk, her second in command, was standing by her shoulder, arms behind his rigidly straight back. His head was tilted, light glinting off the pointy shades he wore. The head tilting was the only thing important, his shades didn’t matter, even if they weren’t on, you couldn’t read a stupid thing from those orange eyes anyway, unless he wanted you to. She tried, she couldn’t even pretend to have won that staring contest, even in her own mind, which was terrible. But the head tilt, it meant that he was interested, or that his neck hurt. Fuck it, it was probably the first thing.

She leaned back on her chair, tilting her head ponderously, she suspected she looked properly condescending, and maybe even considering, but really, it was getting harder to sit straight, and she needed something to support her back.

“What’s innit for us? Why should we hlp, AHEM, Help you? You guys’ve been tearing us poor Humans a new one for the last Solar yers. Years.” She titled her head down, slightly. It seemed to send the troll into a fit. Heh. She could just imagine the foam coming form his mouth, or whatever, can Trolls get Rabies or is that just a human thing? She should ask Dirk later.

“Aren’t you humans supposed to be companionate or something? Fuck, okay, look. Fucking count me and the nooksniffers on my ship as fucking dignitaries of the Heiress. We were working undercover for her, and got found out. If you help us survive, we can get our important information to her. It will get you fucking points in her favour when she takes the throne. Isn’t that nice? You will be helping a new empress on the throne, one who doesn’t want to kill everything. .”

She squinted her eyes at him, though her mouth was already forming a large grin, a giggling snort escaping just a little bit. He was just so funny, and look, he was staring at her like she was the alien. 

“A-are you one something. Fuck, please tell me you are not on something…” He looked like he was about to cry, just a little. It made her lopsided grin broaden just a bit more. Where was her martini glass, she needed to sip it dramatically. Fuck there it was, in Dirk’s hand, when did he grab that? Damnit that was hers. Wait shit, she has to answer the alien.

“Only something to make me more relaxed, and wanting to hear what you’s all gots to say.” She said, leaning closer. She didn’t bother trying to grab her martini glass, the moment passed. “Look, that sounds temptin as shit. No one likes warz n stuff. But how do we know you all ain’t trying to jstu get on here so you can just sabatogue us or somethin?” 

He seemed ready to eat his own grey shirt. She squinted at it, was that symbol grey? Didn’t trolls have these ridiculously colourful signs they wore on their shirts? He muttered something’s under his breath, probably swears or something, what the heck was a bonebulge? 

He seemed to try to calm himself down before he spoke. “ARE YOU KIDDING? You just destroyed THREE of her Condensention’s ships that were trying to shoot us down, like fucking sport. You HONESTLY think that we are spies or some stupid shit you got in your fucking useless think pans? Screw this. I want to fucking die.”

His sound was abruptly lowered, and that little sign appeared in the corner, to let her know that who ever was on the other side couldn‘t hear them. Her communications officer, Lt John, turned around in his seat, facing the captain. “Ah, Captain, their engines are going to blow soon. They don’t have that much time…”

Her Helmsman Jade shifted in her seat. “Captain, we are going to need to get out of here right now, to get out of the blast range. I don‘t really want to be here when their engines blow…”

She waved them off, a little, shifting in her seat. She turned her head to Dirk slightly, who looked impassive as always, but raised eyebrow over the shades, as if asking her ‘Well, give some orders oh drunken one, before you get us killed‘. She nodded to Jade, who returned full communications.

“You do gots a point there. K’ay look, get all your guys together, all four of ‘em, yeah, we know you got 4 there, and get close together and don’t move so we can beam you aboard, got it? Oh, and no weapons either. You got 5 minuets” She hit on her command chair, cutting off the troll as he was about to reply.

Dirk had turned towards her, one eyebrow lifting slightly above his shades. “Like I was gonna fuckin leave them there. Jade, send a massge, message, to Starfleet, about our situations, kay?

Dirk only looked at her through his shades calmly. He handed her drink back to her. IT was empty

“Did you drink this?”

“No, you spilt it on the floor when the Trolls requested communications.” His arms were still behind his back, but he had moved away now.

She scowled at her second in command, and his stupid pointy ears. “Come on, we gotta go meet them in the teleportation room. Lets get a move on. Jade, get ready to move my baby out of here.” She pulled herself to her feet, albeit a bit wobbly, and started down the hallway. “Jaine, can you get the Doctor Lalond? I doubt these guys ‘r gonna be it good shape.”

Her yeoman nodded once, “Of course I can Captain.” She smiled as she went off. Good ol’ Jainie.

She brought her communicator up to her face. “Dave, Daaave, I need you to get the transport ready, and beam up the four life forms on that ship for me” She didn’t wait for a response before shutting off the communicator

She could feel Dirk staring at her as she walked, or not staring, you could never tell. She cast him a glance, but his face looked impassive as always, though he did look at her from the corner of his eye, he was walking just in line with her to see. There was silent approval there, not that she really needed it, but it was always a nice thing to have.

Dave looked up from where he was looking over the controls, his own iconic shades in place, as the door slid open. She though it was cute that he was trying to copy her dear Dirk, but never quite got the hang of it like her second in command did.

..and the trolls were already on board, did they really take that long?

There were four, and they were indeed in bad shape. There was the small nubby horned troll who was holding up a.. four horned troll, who had yellow blood dripping form him, he was passed out. Behind him stood a tall, arrow horned troll, who was holding a smaller one with a blue hat. She felt Dirk shift behind her, and saw hum look over the new inhabitants. Though she figured he was just looking at the big tall one. He had a thing for big buff body types she knew from when they had their weekly talks where she spiked his drink with alcohol and chocolate. It made him very chatty.

She still had some material left over from that for her writing. She really needed to finish writing that chapter about the wizard and his apprentice…

“Can we get some fucking medical aid, or are you just going to let us die here?” Ohh.. There’s the shouty one.

“Hello, I am Captain Roxy T Kirk of the galactic federation.” She put on her best smile, standing as straight as she could. “This is my second in command Dirk-”

“Please forgive my rudeness, but can you show us where the medical facilities are located? I worry for the health of my comrades. We were, injured, during our escape.” The blue troll said, looking a bit sheepish at interrupting, how does a 10 ft troll manage to look sheepish, as he gently cradled the tiny form in his arms. There was some green blood staining his arms and hands.

She grinned, probably showing just a bit too much teeth, as she indicated to Dirk. “My second in command can show you to the medical bay. Dirk, why don’t you take the nice big troll and the other two down to the medical bay. Karkat, why don’t I show you to your rooms while your crew members get all checked out?” 

She smiled as Karkat looked like he was about ot protest, but Dirk had already moved forwards, taking the yellow blood’s spare arm, and lifting him off of the troll. God he was so short.

“Come along, Let Dirk show you to the tender clutches of our medic. But careful, she has a tendency to bite.” He started to lead the troll’s out, The blue one falling instep beside him after moving his mouth uselessly at the transfer of the twin horned troll.

Karkat’s entire side was drenched in blood. “Come one, I can get you some new clothes. Why don’t you tell me about the important information you gots to give to your heiress, and other important things.”

“.. How are you even a Captain. You human’s are fucking insane.”

 

**-Captain’s log-  
**

We deserve a fukin’ medle

*Medal.

**-End log-  
**


End file.
